Mr. Dentist

The Dentist: the place where kids enter screaming and or crying, as their mothers attempt to unlatch their children's claws from the doorway; it is a swirling hurricane of gross, disgusting, and buzzing noises-- not to mention that every single dentist office I've EVER been in smells like a mixture of water and latex!!!! The dentist is a form of everyone's one personal form of torture!! ISN'T THAT COMFORTING?!!! Okay-- I may have exaggerated a bit on that last point. I guess I'm just furious with the whole dental industry at the moment because my entire face is completely numb, and constantly twitching!!!!! I am personally starting to believe that the dental hygienist enjoys testing how much "numby- stuff" will fit in the serenge! C'mon people!!! You already gave me two shots, thoroughly enjoyed shoving cotton in my mouth, and NOW you must think it amusing to watch me flinch in the chair while injecting me with that gross tasting serum!!! I tried to drink water when I got home, and my mouth just dropped open effortlessly, leaving me drenched and angry, while my brother laughed at me relentlessly. However, I have found a small glimpse of happiness through all the pain and suffering! Have you ever taken into consideration all the everyday tasks you could do while in the dentists chair that would make your dentist spazz out? Exhibit A: sneezing. I can't even fathom their expressions If you just had like a sneeze and or cough seizure when their face is so close to yours!! Exhibit B: Mr. Dentist always enjoys having a complex conversation with you while his hands are shoved down you esophagus, so why not reply to all of these stupid questions. For instance, a typical question any stereotypical dentist would ask is: "So what are your plans for the summer?" instead of just sitting there while your dentist answers himself like he usually does, Answer him! It will most likely sound similar to that of a tortured and dying Humback whale!! Exhibit C:vomit. Just throw up in the chair in front of him and everybody. Do I even need to explain why this might make anyone feel a bit befuddled? What are some other funny things that you think would distract your dentist?? Let me know! :) Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to drink something again without being forced to change clothes! -Kristen :)